How to teach the child to manage themselves? Included doing homework automatically, putting the toys to the right place after playing, brushing teeth and washing face? These are the topics which the parents would like to know.

Each parent has their own way to teach child how to manage themselves, and there is not rigid standard unless the method will bring out the negative result or emotion, even both.

Many cases, especially in the activities or gatherings, showed that the child did present their quick reactions to illustrate their high level of self-management, also try as fast as they can do the homework and revision, but at least one or two child expressed their reluctance among the group. Owing to no alternative, they did that behaviours or actions. They have feared about their parents, whatever unhappiness, anger or intimidation of their parents. As a result, for the sake of survive, or they have do exchange all the things or rewards in their life; ironically, the terms and conditions might be impunity only.

This sort of negative reinforcement would urge many drawbacks, even insidious psychological problems. For instances, twisting their value of working and studying, and establishing the unhealthy child-parent relationship directly. Actually, how could we teach our child to have the self-management behaviour?

Often quoted, “Be a role model”. Child has strong ability in imitation, high curiosity, and love to copy the actions of their parents. If you will throw the newspaper on the sofa freely; if throwing off your shoes is your first action after go home; if you never tidy up your bed after wake up, if you never say “Good Morning” to any one or say “Thanks” after obtaining the assisting. So your child will learn the fundamental behaviours and Self-management probably?

Furthermore, we are not only to be a role model, but also to teach them gradually. Teach them the basic skills, elaborate why we have do this or do that, and assist them to try, teach, elaborate, and assist them slowly, step by step. You could be free hand when the child could do it himself even though he does it not good enough. It is okay. Don’t worry. He will improve day by day, because it is impossible that he know things at a glance, and it is difficult for him to understand after one lesson. The objective is to teach child the basic skills, and let them to explore by themselves.

The positive encouragement as well as satisfactory is the important element of improvement. Patient is the indispensable. It is old but truth, patient is the golden rule of teaching child. Next time, we try to talk about the child who knows how to do but never try to do.

Eddy

Psychotherapist